I always joke to female friends that they could easily pick up guys at the Supermarket. I also, have seen way too many sitcoms where such market happenstances occur. And then I came across Natalie. Tightly pulled back ponytail, yoga pants, and an over-sized hoodie, and making possibly the biggest mistake of her day. She reached for the big jar of mayo. You may think I’m just a tad neurotic about condements, but I have a steadfast hatred for the big jar of mayo. I just let out a simple, “Really?”
She looked around, and was immediately panicked. I then asked her why on earth she would spend time with a knife awkwardly scooping and digging out mayo that was invariably going to get on her hands, when a mere foot away was the squeeze mayo. She laughed, and I continued on that I was deathly serious. I told her that I had literally gotten into arguments about that. We talked a little bit before I went for it. And I was shot down. Hard. She mentioned a boyfriend that may or may not have been fictitious. I’d say the boy-hoodie was an indication, but she could have saved that as a remnant of a doomed relationship from six years ago. I did, however, convince her to check out with the squeeze mayo.
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